there are no good fandoms only good friends
Tag: text posts
me: hmm it is a nice day. as i am filled with hubris, i will go outside and sit 🙂
every bug in the universe at once: crawl?????? for to crawl???????
To the customers who apologize repeatedly for “bothering” me, or offer to clean up their own spill if I just get them some paper towels, or walk all the way around an aisle so as not to disturb me when I’m blocking their path, I just want to reassure you that you are NOT the annoying customer we complain about in retail. You are very kind and you clearly respect me and my time and I appreciate you. Also I am happy to help you with whatever you need and it is not at all a bother.
To the customer who shouted “EGGS?” at me from twenty feet away because apparently it was just too much trouble to come a few steps closer and use a complete sentence like “where are the eggs, please?”: fuck you.
the-little-engine-that-couldnt:
good morning cruel world
Don’t you mean goodbye?
no i meant good morning. this world may be cruel but i’m still kickin’
This really cheered me up
Whos the blacksmith out there moulding titty armour to every strong female character more accurately than the bra fitter at Victorias Secret
Tis I, Mandick the titty smithy.
And who makes nursing armor after the Strong Female Character marries our hero and pops out a baby?
Askin’ the real questions
I’m guessing it’s still Mandick the titty smithy. Don’t let the name fool you, she definitely knows how to cater to her clientele.
can you believe after so many years of using french’s “c’est la vie” because the nuance doesn’t translate, we’ve finally obtained a flawless translation with “that’s just the way it is on this bitch of an earth"Â
Wisdom teeth are so weird cause my body is like, “hey I know you are done growing but would you like some…MORE TEETH???? And I’m like, “hell no, theres no room,” but then my body is still like *slamming fists on table* “more teeth! MORE TEETH! MORE TEETH! MORE TEETH! M O R E T E E T H”
Oh there’s no room? That’s fine we’ll just gRoW TheM IN FuvKiNg SIDEWAYS
I hate when u say “deja vu” out loud n someone ur with goes “what was it?” Like bitch we all can barely communicate the most straightforward ideas without utter confusion and chaos…..u rly believe it is within my capacity to explain exactly what fleeting moment of temporal embodiment made me feel like a vague reincarnated ghost girl trapped in a child’s dream??? Surely u are mistaken.
Bubbles, when they pop, whisper secrets that the dead took with them to their graves.
I didn’t read the url at first and I was fully prepared to accept this as reality.
you know when you’re eating something with lettuce and a leaf winds up hanging out your mouth while you’re chewing and for a few seconds you fuse souls with that of a 66 million year old gentle and slow brachiosaurus? love that
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