It’s feminist for me to fantasize about a beefy country boy to lift things for me and introduce me to his goats, because it turns me on and is therefore empowering!!! Fuck you!!!!!!!
Are there weird gender role issues here if he has a big appetite and I make a lot of food for him? NO, because I am also PEGGING HIM in this scenario!! I am the FARM DOMME
I’m going back in time to cancel this post because I’ve been told this is categorized as horny on main. Frankly I don’t see how it is horny to want someone in scuffed jeans blush while letting you pet their sheep but I’ve been overruled and I have a career to consider so [REDACTED]
Julia I’m reporting you
Julia I’m just worried about the goats
God okay you don’t understand, the goats initially are somewhat skittish but end up liking me right away, leading the farmboy to go “I’ve never seen them warm up to anyone so quickly before!” And we share a shy but tender glance as the sun sets, until a goat does something silly that makes us both break into laughter. The GOATS are ESSENTIAL in getting him to NUT IN ME
Tag: text posts
kinda feel like I need to go outside and be absorbed by fog or somethin. become one with the creatures in the mist. become the physical manifestation of the sound the highway makes in the distance. be my own liminal space. self care, yknow
may the universe be softer and kinder to us this september
eating chips with chopsticks is unironically galaxy brain. your fingers don’t get greasy and it lasts for longer
Fork
Oh yeah I’m going to stab my crunchy foods and make them fall apart like an absolute absentminded dunce, fool, clown, jester, like a monstrous moron, an idiot of Shakespearean proportions, a cretin
the moment I feel ignored or unimportant is the moment I emotionally check out
how does ellen degeneres’ wife ever fuck her like. u close ur eyes for a second and thats dory telling u shes gonna raw ur ass all the way to 42 wallaby way sydney
op? please never make me feel whatever this emotion is ever again
planning on being cremated and just absolutely cramming handfuls of popcorn seeds into every orfice of my body as im on my deathbed so the crematorium people get to have a fun suprise :•)
*my family members lose their composure and break down in tears as the priest frantically tries to stuff all the popcorn with bits of my charred flesh stuck to it into my urn but pieces keep escaping and hitting people in the crowd*
im ready for romance and money!
straight people are so fucking wild today my coworker informed me that cafés are for women and bars are for men and her husband refuses to enter starbucks in case they think hes gay ?? whats up next in Incredibly Unnecessary Gendering
So the bar he goes to has only guys in it? That doesn’t sound very straight
Pfft
“These are the pills for my heebee jeebee’s”
— An adorable 90 year old woman describing her anxiety medication
*accurately describing
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