I JUST NOW REALIZED that ko-fi donations are marked as business transactions in my paypal account, and that each of them comes with the person’s address and a little “ready to add shipping info” tag on them
so i’m going through every time someone has kindly given me a couple dollars in the past. year? and marking them all as “order processed” so I don’t get in HUGE trouble for not putting shipping information on these “orders”
WHY… ARE THEY PROCESSED THAT WAY… why aren’t they processed as DONATIONS?
A few folks have asked me to tell them how they can tell if this has happened, and how to fix it, so here’s a small guide!
When you get money through ko-fi, and it shows up like this, then it’s come through as a payment, with the person’s shipping address attached.
To fix this, you click “Add tracking info” for every payment that has that. When you do, you’ll select “Order Processed / Service Rendered” which is the option that tells PayPal you aren’t shipping anything.
When you do, the other boxes on that page will be greyed out, and you can save. The “print shipping label / add tracking info” tag will be gone on the transaction and you’ll be good to go!
I remember years ago listening to a doctor speak on the radio and something stuck with me ever since. I’m paraphrasing but the gist was this:
When someone who has been sad, distant, not themselves for a while suddenly starts going out of there way to see people, often giving them gifts or possessions don’t assume they got ‘better’. This is the time to really ask them if they are okay; to reach out and not simply accept the answer of ‘fine’ or ‘great’ or ‘never better’. Because for some people the relief of having made the decision to end their life can make them happy, euphoric even.
He pointed out that often this change in the person is such a relief to their friends and family after having seeing someone they love suffer, they just don’t realise what has caused the change and frankly they don’t want to ‘rock the boat’ because they are just so happy to have the person they love ‘back’. But in reality, the person they love is saying goodbye.
During the interview, he told the story of a colleague (back when he had a factory job before he became a doctor) who had been depressed for a long time. One day he came in and was really happy, people kept commenting on how good it was that he wasn’t sad and grumpy anymore. He gave people some of his things, took people to lunch. Went home and killed himself.
He explained that when the police came to talk to people, they told him it was a common story they heard “but they were so much better.”
So be there for your friends and family. Tell them what they mean to you. Let them talk to you without fear of judgement. LISTEN. Suggest people get help if you think they need it.
Finally, let me add: The world will not be better off without you in it. You matter. You will be missed. Please don’t harm, hurt or kill yourself.
And I feel it worth mentioning that this phenomenon is why medication and therapy go hand-in-hand. Studies have shown that just going on medication without regular therapy actually increases suicide risk, because now a person finally has enough energy to make the decision and do it, including energy to make all the goodbyes and other arrangements they feel need to happen first. Similarly, this is why therapists get really worried if a new patient comes for a handful of sessions and then vanishes from their radar, because it is entirely possible that they got just enough help to get over the hump of inaction but not enough to make things actually better. Depression and suicidal ideation are not things that just go away like that. If you have a friend who seems suddenly “better” without extensive, long-term treatment, keep an eye on them.
And just as a reminder, if you’re out there thinking about injuring or killing yourself, please don’t. I’d personally much rather you be here tomorrow, I care about you as a human, and I know that there are other people who care about you and would like to have you around tomorrow, too. Even if tomorrow is all you can commit to today, that’s enough for today, and we can worry about the next day tomorrow. Ultimate procrastination challenge, okay? Whatever your plan is, just hold off for at least one more day.
I have a ton of new followers so I just wanted to post this. There is a difference between an emotional support animal, therapy animal, and service dog. Please know the difference!
“Emotional Support Service K9s” don’t exist. “Emotional Service Dogs” aren’t a thing.
Psychiatric service dogs are a thing and it’s important to get terminology correct! When talking to other people, if you’re using the incorrect terminology, more and more people will hear you say you have a “emotional therapy service dog” and think that therapy dogs and service dogs are the same. THEY AREN’T.
This isn’t at anyone in particular. Just want to make sure that my followers are on the same page.
But they aren’t documented so they wouldn’t be pa…..nvm
This is a huge misconception for regular Americans. When the government uses the phrase “undocumented” they’re using it incorrectly because if they were truly undocumented then they would’ve be in system. However these immigrants are in the system and they pay taxes, file tax returns and get no benefits that citizens and legal residents get. They also get to see ICE showing up at their doors because the government has their addresses.
Fun fact. “Undocumented” workers pays $12 billion dollars every year in taxes.
“Undocumented” just means “without papers,” i.e. a social security card, valid visa, etc. They’re still on databases and whatnot, they just don’t have the documentation that allows them to reap the benefits.
so if it didn’t click- the government is aware of their presence and gladly taking their money under the table while simultaneously promoting the idea that undocumented people are a threat and encouraging hatred and distrust of them it’s super messed up, literally the scheme of an evil villain, and it’s really happening
🗣 undocumented immigrants in Los Angeles contribute more to the GDP than the state of Montana and like 5 other states
Don’t expect society to put up with your little brats
seems reasonable though ?
“Horrified”
??? That’s a perfectly reasonable request tho???
HOW DARE YOU ASK US TO ACTUALLY PARENT!?
Okay but…story time because I work at a fucking restaurant. Specifically one that has every single main dish on those hotplates. A kid ran into me one time as I was carrying two empty trays back to the kitchen and sent me into the edge of a brick wall right next to me. Like my side collided into the outwards edge and holy fuck y’all know that hurts. AND I almost dropped the trays on the stupid kid. I had to sit out of work for like half an hour cuz it hurt that much, and bruised badly for a few days mind you, while my manager yelled at the customer family for letting the child run around like that. Luckily the family had shame and apologised and left, but godammit if I had been carrying a tray of hot food fresh from the kitchen I wouldn’t have been the only one hurt for sure and injuries would’ve been much worse.
TL;DR DON’T LET YOUR TINY CHILDREN RUN AROUND IN A RESTAURANT. IT’S NOT A PLAYGROUND. IT’S DANGEROUS FOR BOTH THE STAFF, THE OTHER CUSTOMERS, AND THE ACTUAL CHILDREN.
This also goes for other places of work, such as hardware stores and lumber yards. I work at a hardware store that is also a working warehouse, we have large dangerous equipment on the move all the time and we have had actual deaths on our floor from people not following safety guidelines.
And yet, I have lost count of how many times I’ve had to drop everything and bolt to grab a kids out of the way of a forklift or coax them down from one of the big ladders we have for getting down product from the overhead racks. The good parents thank me for helping and then either put their kids in their shopping cart or carry them. The bad parents yell at me for saving their idiot child from being run over by a four ton piece of equipment that CANNOT STOP FAST ENOUGH to prevent said child from coming to harm when they bolt in front of the big beeping machine.
Actually be a responsible parent, teach your kid to follow the rules and be safe in public spaces, no matter where they are or who they’re with. It’s not our job as sales associates to be your babysitter.
phrases like “you don’t owe anyone anything” and “relationships aren’t transactional” have the power to be used in ways that are very backwards and harmful
for example, no you don’t owe anyone anything in that if some creep is trying to get with you, you can block him without feeling bad. you don’t owe kindness to people who are transphobic or racist or bigoted.
but, you can’t use this as an excuse to fuck over people who have helped you. “you don’t owe anyone anything” isn’t an excuse to allow yourself to forget compassion and basic empathy, it isn’t an excuse for you to be an asshole just because you find it easier to be one
relationships aren’t transactional in that if your partner does something nice for you, you are indebted to them. they do these things because they love you; it is their choice to express love through these gestures
but they are transactional in that you both actively need to be putting time and care into the relationship. ignoring the dynamic of one person caring too much (and putting in excessive (emotional an literal) work and labor) while the other does nothing isn’t healthy. one person can’t solely take and the other person can’t solely give- that’s dangerous, and you can’t put the bandaid of “this isn’t transactional” over a relationship that is draining you in all capacities
i’m tired of seeing these things being misconstrued and used as an excuse to hurt people, while framing it as a way of taking care of yourself
I’m going paddleboarding this weekend and I invited 4 of my friends. 3 of them bailed and one of them still hasn’t answered. Guess what bitch is still going paddleboarding even if it means going alone?
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