scrap-patch:

meridiangrimm:

meridiangrimm:

meridiangrimm:

meridiangrimm:

I want to read a story about a wizard whose only spell is “fix this”, but the specially-crafted magic takes their intent into account.  "Fix this" can mean repairing the wheel on the adventurers’ cart or healing a broken arm or “fixing” a lock so that it’s in what the wizard considers the “correct” (unlocked) position.  Imagine the other mages getting increasingly frustrated as the wizard stubbornly refuses to learn any other spells.

Wizard: *points at a canyon* Fix this

Other casters: That’s not really how spells –

Wizard: Oh look, one of our blankets is now a magic carpet.  Guess we don’t need a bridge.

Casters: How –

Wizard: *points at logs that won’t catch fire* Fix this

Other casters: There’s been too much rain, it won’t –

Wizard:  I fixed it so that it’s in the same state it was yesterday.  Someone here knows how to start a fire, right?

Casters: What –

Wizard: *points at charging dragon*: Fix this

Other casters: THAT’S NOT HOW MAGIC WORKS YOU IDIOT WE’RE GOING TO DIE

Dragon: *coughs* Did you just
 cure my intestinal problems?  I’ve been trying to stop breathing fire for weeks, but it just kept spilling out, and every time I tried to ask for help, I burned everything down.  I won’t forget this kindness.

Casters: *ripping their hair out* H O W

I’m dying 😂👌

🌿herbal witch garden

lyrium:


đŸŒ±basil (st. joseph’s wort)
+ purification, wealth, good fortune, love
+ soothes anger and aids in reconciliation
+ used in love divination by burning on coals 

đŸŒ±catnip (cat’s wort)
+ love, beauty, happiness, sleep
+ develops psychic and emotional bond with felines
+ leaves are often used as magical bookmarks

đŸŒ±laurel (bayleaf)
+ psychic development, protection, healing, strength, wishes
+ carry to ward off negativity and evil
+ manifest desires by writing them upon a leaf then burning it

đŸŒ±mugwort (sailor’s tobacco)
+ divination, astral projection, psychic abilities 
+ carry in a shoe for endurance during long journeys
+ often blended into teas or smoked for psychic effects

đŸŒ±patchouli (pucha-pot)
+ wealth, fertility, lust, protection
+ suitable substitute for cemetery dirt if needed
+ earthy musk makes for pleasant incense/oils/perfumes

đŸŒ±peppermint (brandy mint)
+ sleep, healing, love, psychic powers
+ used to heal headaches, stomach pain, mild illness
+ blends well into most teas and aids digestion

đŸŒ±rosemary (dew of the sea)
+ mental powers, purification, healing, sleep, love
+ memory enhancing abilities useful for education
+ powerful healing and purification incense

đŸŒ±rue (queen of herbs)
+ healing, protection, mental powers, exorcism
+ fresh scent clears mind of heartbreak, envy, egoism
+ added to ritual baths to dispel curses and negativity 

đŸŒ±sage (garden sage)
+ wisdom, longevity, protection, wishes
+ often burned for protection, banishing evil, consecration
+ aids in overcoming sorrow; burned at funerals to relieve grief

đŸŒ±thyme (mother of thyme)
+ courage, purification, healing, sleep, faerie magic
+ grown in gardens to attract and commune with fae
+ burned to refresh energy and dispel melancholy

thyrell:

agoatinthecircus:

thyrell:

thyrell:

a necromancer is just a really late healer

“you’re too late, doc, he’s
he’s already dead
”

*cracks knuckles* i didnt get my medical license revoked for nothing

i like idea of a necromancer that can bring back the dead but doesnt know how to cure the living so has to wait for someone to die before bringing them back

“hey doc do you have any splints I think I fractured my ankle”

*cocks gun* no but I’ll do you one better

soundofez:

concept: black magic which heals and protects

a doctor parts skin with a careful touch, turns a tumor into shadow, and seals his patient once more with black threads.

a teenager buys black pills from the pharmacy, swallows one, lies back. they find themselves shrouded in darkness, and for the first time in a long time they sleep well. in the morning they wake under their covers, safe and warm.

a parent casts a shadow over their child, whose body overheats quickly. with the shadow protecting them, the child can walk safely under the sun, fearing neither sunburn nor heat stroke.

light moves swiftly, but darkness is everywhere, and all connected. white magic transportation moves its passengers at dangerous speeds; it’s black magic which harnesses the everywhereness of the dark and turns it into the safest and most efficient transportation known to life.

( x )

assassinationtipsforladies:

greelin:

greelin:

i love my mother dearly but ability-wise she frightens me bc not only can she find 20 four leaf clovers within the span of like 2 minutes, everywhere, she can also write her name w/ both hands on a dry erase board or w/e at the exact same time and have both be a mirror image of one another

to add to this: i was making breakfast this morning and i hear “hey milo! look who came to say hello!” and, expecting like, a moth or a frog or something of that nature, i turn and she’s holding a snake

Yer ma’s a witch. Be nice to her