It’s feminist for me to fantasize about a beefy country boy to lift things for me and introduce me to his goats, because it turns me on and is therefore empowering!!! Fuck you!!!!!!!
Are there weird gender role issues here if he has a big appetite and I make a lot of food for him? NO, because I am also PEGGING HIM in this scenario!! I am the FARM DOMME
I’m going back in time to cancel this post because I’ve been told this is categorized as horny on main. Frankly I don’t see how it is horny to want someone in scuffed jeans blush while letting you pet their sheep but I’ve been overruled and I have a career to consider so [REDACTED]
Julia I’m reporting you
Julia I’m just worried about the goats
God okay you don’t understand, the goats initially are somewhat skittish but end up liking me right away, leading the farmboy to go “I’ve never seen them warm up to anyone so quickly before!” And we share a shy but tender glance as the sun sets, until a goat does something silly that makes us both break into laughter. The GOATS are ESSENTIAL in getting him to NUT IN ME
modern greek mythology adaptation where hades and persephone are played by john mulaney and his wife
She’s hades, he’s Persephone
Oh no, no. John Mulaney is 100% Hades.
Loves his wife
Is actually pretty chill except when it comes to stupid people
Can’t stand up for himself when others try to do him wrong
And from what we hear about her, she’s very Persephone.
Easy to underestimate
Knows her own mind
Will cut you
“So, I meet this wonderful lady. Just fantastic, my heart does that thing where it’s skipping beats, and I – all of you think I’m going to talk about how I suavely asked her out, and that is not what happened.
“I ride up in my chariot, and the first – this is literally the first thing I say to her is ‘do you want to meet my dog’?
“And this – I – this is a sign that this woman is my soul mate – she looks at her friends hanging around and says, ‘sure, catch you later, guys’.
“I’m going to skip forward here a couple of dates – no, don’t – this is not the story of how my wife met my dog – and her mom – her mom – finds out she’s seeing me. Now I know everyone jokes about how a girl’s dad is this big, hulking – going to hunt you down if you’re dating his daughter and he doesn’t like you. But if you say that, it’s because you’ve never had some girl’s mom glaring up at you from like – her mom’s like two inches taller than her, so this little furious glare from around my chin area, saying her daughter’s not allowed to come see me anymore.
“And this – okay, this is when I knew I was going to marry this girl, she looks at her mom and, cool as anything, says, ‘Too late, mom. I met his dog, ate dinner over here. I’m staying’.”
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