It’s for U.S. Cellular, specifically advertising how great their streaming service is. You can even , the guy in the ad says, stream hours of grass mowing.
And I go… “wait a minute…that sounds weird…why hasn’t this ad ended yet?”
And I look at the bottom.
the ad is seven hours long.
UPDATE
i’m half an hour in
the guy’s come back a couple times. his mower broke down and he went to get more gas. he came back and started it up again, drove around a few more times making comments about it being fun and “you still watchin? weird.” After a bit he took out a ruler and started measuring the grass.
He pulled out a book and a lawn chair and started reading, but he just left and said he’ll be back soon
he brought out an umbrella but it fell over so he left and came back and tried to fix it but it completely broke so he stalked off, dragging the chair behind him. i’m loving this.
HE BROUGHT OUT A HAND-HELD UMBRELLA
he’s really getting into the book
He put away the umbrella and book and stuff and now he’s measuring the grass again.
HE’S GONNA PLAY CROQUET
the sprinklers turned on…i’m two hours into this thing
It’s feminist for me to fantasize about a beefy country boy to lift things for me and introduce me to his goats, because it turns me on and is therefore empowering!!! Fuck you!!!!!!!
Are there weird gender role issues here if he has a big appetite and I make a lot of food for him? NO, because I am also PEGGING HIM in this scenario!! I am the FARM DOMME
I’m going back in time to cancel this post because I’ve been told this is categorized as horny on main. Frankly I don’t see how it is horny to want someone in scuffed jeans blush while letting you pet their sheep but I’ve been overruled and I have a career to consider so [REDACTED]
Julia I’m reporting you
Julia I’m just worried about the goats
God okay you don’t understand, the goats initially are somewhat skittish but end up liking me right away, leading the farmboy to go “I’ve never seen them warm up to anyone so quickly before!” And we share a shy but tender glance as the sun sets, until a goat does something silly that makes us both break into laughter. The GOATS are ESSENTIAL in getting him to NUT IN ME
I just had this hyper-realistic dream and like. I don’t even know what to make of this lmao
I was sitting in this park, on a bench, looking up at the night sky and all the stars and stuff, and I blinked and suddenly the entire sky was different. I’m talking different constellations, the sky absolutely packed with billions more stars, some so close they’re massive. I’m like wtf and suddenly I realise there’s an old man sitting next to me, dressed in like 1940s clothing, also looking up at the sky.
before I can ask him if he’s you know, noticed, he speaks, without looking away from the sky.
“this is what the universe really looks like,” he tells me.
“oh,” I say. a pause. “…can you put it back?”
he smiles and nods. I look up. the sky has gone back to normal.
“what do I do with this information?” I ask, looking at him again.
he turns his head and, smiling, looks me dead in the face. "be careful.“
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