magpiecake:

rafi-dangelo:

(Facebook: It’s Okay To Be Childfree)

“Congratulations – you just made a conversation about salad and hamburgers about the struggle of childbirth.”

TBH Parentfriends, I’m probably tired of looking at pictures of your kid every other day, so I just hid you from my Newsfeed, because what’s important to you isn’t all that important to me. Sorry, not sorry, no one’s feelings got hurt.

But if you start mommyjacking my posts, I will 100% make you cry into your keyboard.

#how unsatisfied are these people with parenthood that they have to validate themselves like this

Behold, the worst written line of all time:

amren-tiny-ancient-one:

this-darkness-light:

hypotheticalwriterquestions:

spaceshipkat:

piefacemcgee:

caedmonfaith:

dayofthedoodles:

caedmonfaith:

pirouetteintopurgatory:

therealfeedback:

iheartmoonlight:

negativereader:

Aro laughed. “Ha ha ha,” he giggled.

-Stephenie Meyer New Moon

Excuse me but

“His voice is warm and husky like dark melted chocolate fudge caramel… or something.”

-EL James Fifty Shades of Gray

Fifty Shades is a treasure trove of terrible lines.

“I feel the color in my cheeks rising again. I must be the color of the Communist Manifesto.”

“His erection springs free. Holy cow!”

“Holy crap! He’s wearing a white shirt.”

The fact it used to be Twilight fanfiction really comes through when you actually look up some of the text.

“His eyebrows widened”

– E.L. James; Fifty Shades of Grey

This post always makes me feel better about myself.

image

I stopped my work day so I could make this stupid gif.

I nearly peed.

YOU ASSHOLE I ALMOPST CHOKED ON MY APPLE JUST NOW

“velvet-wrapped steel”

ac0maf by sj/m

And who could forget

“Do I afraid you?” said Christian, licking his eyebrow.

There is yet hope for me

Now i am infinitely more confident in my writing thanks to this

claroquequiza:

zaiyofics:

the-ghost-of-keith-kogane:

fandangoing:

Okay guys hear me out.

A soulmate AU where you have a black stain where your soulmate is supposed to touch you for the first time and it turns to millions of colors once they do.

Like, so many people with their right palms all black, waiting for that one handshake.

People who have black knuckles who are scared for years that they end up punching their soulmate or something and end up coming home with their knuckles turned all shades of red and blue and purple without them noticing because sometimes your hands just brush together.

Someone having a very visible black palm on their cheek that they try to cover up because people will just know they will be slapped one day.

Just

consider the possibilities.

a handprint on your upper arm that bursts into colors during a fight you’re having with a close friend because you tried to walk away and they grabbed you–you never noticed that you never touched them until right now

twin handprints on your chest because your soulmate happens to be the paramedic who steps in to give you chest compressions that one time you almost died

a handprint on your palm but it’s not upside down like a handshake would be, you’re puzzled until you give someone a high five and the colors appear

someone you just met brushes a leaf off your shirt–RIGHT WHERE YOUR HANDPRINT IS YOU ALWAYS WONDERED WHY IT WAS ON YOUR PEC

I actually love this one a lot

Someone who is born with no mark at all–what a tragedy! But one day, a dear friend offers to braid their hair. They’re not even half done before they gasp and let it drop–their black palms and fingers are afire with color–

–and so is the half-done plait, bright against solid black hair.