i just cant get over the lobster scene. like his friends are actively begging him, do not get into the lobster tank. please eddie. tom hardy you were in mad max fury road dont do this. and tom hardy looks at his friend like “i know i shouldnt do this. i shouldnt be getting into this lobster tank but i’m going to anyway. i’m already mostly inside. cant stop now. i’m sorry i dont want to be doing this either there’s just no other choice for me.” and then he takes a bg bite out of a live lobster that’s still in the shell and everything.
tom hardy doesn’t actually know he’s being possessed by an alien yet in the story. he’s just resigned himself to whatever fucking meltdown he seems to be having. he doesn’t even seem particularly surprised that things have gone this way for him. like ten minutes later he finds out his heart stopped working and hes just like “you asshole” and he throws his alien parasite against the wall like a water balloon. and then he just leaves and is immediately kidnapped. what a fucking wild ride tom hardy is on.
tom hardy’s actual superpower is being the exact same level of dysfunctional no matter what is happening in his life. so when everything’s going ok for him he self-destructs spectacularly, but when literally everything that can happen to a human being happens to him, he does, like, unrealistically well. climbing into a lobster tank and eating a live animal with large claws just like… “well, this is what’s happening to me today. i’m so sorry you have to watch this, man. anyway here goes, i’m going to bite into a living creature with my human mouth and then LOSE CONSCIOUSNESS”
this movie’s fucking killing me from the inside.
IT WASNT EVEN IN THE SCRIPT TOM HARDY IS JUST A FUCKING GENUINE MADMAN
This whole bankruptcy thing was a money making scam by the suits who bought out the company back in the 2000s and ran it into the ground.
Not only is the toy store brand not dead, but 30,000 people are now angry as this scheme blocked them out of severance pay and they are now unemployed and unable to return to work when they start up again.
Many toy companies including Hasbro are raising eyebrows at this, as the initial bankruptcy cost them millions of dollars in sales revenue and their stocks took a nasty hit (Mattel being the worst off from it, as Toys R Us closing compounded with steadily falling sales of their products). Advocates are calling this a “bad PR stunt” since the suits want the company to make sales for the holidays.
Hopefully, this will cause enough of a stink to kill it off for good. I’d rather say goodbye Geoffrey as I knew him than have him come back as a reanimated corpse controlled by greedy hucksters who put thousands of people out of work for no other reason than to line thier own pockets and escape the consequences of their own failings.
This one of the most disgusting things I’ve seen done by any company in years
Seriously. Share this. Impact sales. I wanna see Toy’s R Us driven in the ground for this shit-fucking hard. No mercy, just good old fashioned, cutthroat capitalism where the market says “FUCK YOU” in bright neon letters…just like the greedy fucks who orchestrated this whole thing like-except they won’t like it when the “FUCK YOU” sign is for them.
i always thought of a king sized bed as being a bit bigger than a queen, but now that i have one, i can tell you that a king sized bed is an absurdity. i can sprawl out, and my husband can sprawl out, and the cat can sprawl out, and none of us are touching. i reach out in the night, and find only pillows and plush walruses. i reach further and eventually find his elbow. he rolls over the comforters to try and find me. “i have crossed oceans of bed to be with you,” he says. there is a vast expanse of bed untouched, unmapped, unexplored. the cat is still trying to sleep on my face.
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